Rants and Ranters

The hysteria over the Court decision to allow the "radical cleric" Abu Qatada out of prison and offer him extremely stringently conditioned bail is both predictable and deplorable. Predictable, because the tabloid press is very happy to focus on the "Preacher of Hate", and attack the Courts and Europe.

But what is actually going on? Mr Qatada has been locked up for six and a half years. He has not been prosecuted, much less convicted; and one can only assume that whatever he might have said and done, there is in the opinion of the Crown Prosecution Service insufficient evidence to charge him with any offence, including one of the plethora of new offences created to deal with the threat of terrorism. In addition, although Mr Qatada is apparently wanted for terrorist offences in the United States, Belgium, Spain, France, Germany, Italy, and his native Jordan; it is only a Jordanian request for extradition that has been received and processed, and unsurprisingly, given the state of human rights observance in Jordan, extradition there, where a fair trial could not be guaranteed, was not compatible with our own human rights legislation.

Unfortunately, Mr Qatada is not someone whon attracts sympathy: indeed the opposite is true. There is no doubt at all that he has come to this country, originally to escape religious persecution in the UAE, without any intention of accepting the welcome offered by the UK to those who settle here, on the terms that they play a part in British society and contribute towards the common good. Instead he has preached what amounts to religious apartheid, and has done more to undermine the cohesion of the communities here than the BNP could ever have done.

But there are three elementary principles of our justice system which are being tested here:

1. That a person is treated as innocent until proven guilty;
2. That a person who is accused, is entitled to a fair trial;
3. That all those who come before the courts are entitled to expect the same treatment, irrespective of their opinions or background.

By imprisoning this man for over six years, we have failed the first of these. But this does not mean that this state of affairs should continue. The other two appear to dictate that Mr Qatada should be charged or released, and perhaps his release will galvanise the authorities, who presumably have been complacently inactive, into deciding if charges should be brought; and determining once and for all if indeed he is a criminal or just a deeply unpleasant ranter. if the latter, he could perhaps get a job with the Daily Express,

But the most important lesson is for us, and for the tabloid press. What have we come to when a person can be thrown into an oubliette for over half a decade without a public outcry? What guarantee have we that we will not be next? For those papers that claim to seek to defend our traditions, what is wrong with defending the legal structures and the attendant derived principles of justice that have over the years been the basis of our freedoms?

Sadly the answer has more to do with prejudice than any sort of conviction.

Compensation Culture gone barmy

Yesterday, I received a piece of SPAM email which read as follows:

"Your client is injured following a slip on a floor.

Your client was possibly inebriated, or running or wearing high heels, the defendants have denied all liability because your claimant didn’t take reasonable care for his own safety.

They also claim that their client has a thorough and monitored cleaning regime.

Usually in these situations you would not proceed as the case is weak.

However if FloorSlip Ltd could prove that the flooring was inherently unsafe and unfit for purpose (by failing to meet HSE guidelines), then we can demonstrate that the defendants have been negligent in their “Duty of Care”.

We impartially test floors to determine if a surface is unsafe using equipment approved by the Health & Safety Executive."

Was it a joke? Apparently not. There are still people out there prepared to advise clients to indulge in absurd speculative litigation. Solicitors whose clients have drunkenly toppled to their doom, or gone skating in high heels. No doubt clients who have been referred by claims management outfits. Maybe the same people who sent me texts telling me I could claim £3,750 in damages following an unnamed member of my family unprovokedly driving our car into a wall.

I do wonder if litigation solicitors would be a load better off if they dumped the crooked intermediaries and undertook less,but higher quality work. This strategy certainly works for those of us in the property field. You get more time to deal with matters properly and are able to use your fees to fund your office rather than someone else's.

Going, going, gone...

After some soul searching, I have decided to dispose of my collection of Home Information Pack Keyrings. That I have such a collection may be a surprise to anyone reading this, but as part of the razzmatazz about this not very much lamented hindrance to Conveyancing in England and Wales, I was sent 100 of them by the Government.

I have managed to lose a few of them, and some have unpleasant marks from having been thrown at pictures of John Prescott, Ruth Kelly and Eric Pickles, but the rest have been listed on eBay under this link here.

To date (31 May) bidding has been brisk, and has settled at 1p. But there is still 5 days to go.

I would hate anyone to lose out on this amazing opportunity to secure a part of our recent legal history, even if one which most people would rather completely forget.

Gherkin Ghoulishness

It appears to be payback time for humanity, and particularly for vegetarians, as a plague of cucumber and other salad vegetable related death stalks Europe. Resisting a call to modify our national fruit and vegetable health message to: "Five-a-day, but this could be your last", the Health Protection Agency has instead limited itself to warning people to wash, peel or cook salad vegetables.

This may be nature's way of saying that veganism really is an evolutionary cul-de-sac, but it is more likely to be another by-product of the unrestrained industrialisation of agriculture.

Our cheap food is of course picked and processed by underpaid and heavily exploited farmworkers, whose conditions of service owe little to any concept of rural bliss.

Help for Criminal Law practitioners

We don't often stray outside our comfort zone of property related law, but recent event (or maybe non-event) (not the Royal Wedding) has given us an idea which may be of help to practitioners of Criminal Law.

It can be hard when seeking to advise someone who is under suspicion of doing away with an acquaintance of whom no trace can be found. To maintain that an alleged victim is alive and well can be difficult, particularly if there is circumstantial evidence against your client.

But if your client is absolutely resolute in their protestations of innocence, and there is not too much blood on their clothes, it is surely right to investigate all possibilities; and one such is that the supposed victim has been raptured.

21 May 2011 was supposed to have been the day that the righteous were gathered up into the fluffy cotton wool environment of heaven, according to eccentric preacher Mr Harold Camping. Although Mr Camping seems to be around still, and has revised his predictions of a global apocalypse to 21 October, as one does; it is by no means impossible that the preacher, who has a website fuilled with intolerant ranting, has not fulfilled all of the requirements of righteousness and so has been left behind, unsaved.

Others, more worthy than Mr Camping or the writer, may of course have gone.

The High Court has ruled that a grapefruit knife is a "knife" (surprising that) and that it may not be sold to minors. This is a proper and excellent decision. A great deal of damage can be done with such things, and indeed it is time that a number of other so-called "kitchen gadgets", which are innocently marketed but have sinister possibilities, were restricted.

I believe that melon scoops are already tightly controlled following a nasty incident in 2008 in Huddersfield, but absolutely no action whatsoever has followed the wholesale abuse of tin openers in fighting between rival gangs in rural Dorset in the summer. We have to stop the spread of these things.

If young people are allowed to get their hands on salad spinners and - heaven forbid - silicone pastry brushes, we will see a wholesale breakdown in law and order. Kitchen shops should be licenced and closed to under 21s, and their window displays obscured with masking tape so as not to tempt youths in with the dubious lure of glamorous weaponry such as pasta machines or cheese domes.

Digital Voice Recognition

Having just invested in some new dictation machines, I was interested to see that they came with a "free" copy of Dragon software.

I thought it might be useful to send a text version of my dictation down with the file, and so, after spending 15 minutes acclimatising my voice to the software, I tried it out on a short tape.

The result:

"At 76 nights at the right answer is that organisms a dumb visit our thoughts needed to attract the is being shown a red Anne and I did not the red on black it is quite clear what of the included the California Corriveau as soon as possible to build onto Borrego Dir jar jar to take 20 September (octagon per amp out by the readers of £7000 as a premium for ham and cheese extension and I get them to do together with our part great show delivery and about whether they can investigate a title and factors in making these emissions middle of the garden as handsets under pounds for the conveyancing and the like back and are reasonably certain that at this stage only copy entries etc and Anne and Anne and November and)

This is the exact opposite is no home preferably within the next fortnight. God frontier for eighth of all that hot brown cities as we e-mail you a revised transfer dedicate some this is not right wing to the photography with the removing to the growth of the transfer do want them to fulfil until it right through no 15th electorate they are total September week we return the documents the last one apologised for not sending them in a last letter. Yours"

It's more James Joyce than Edward Lear, I suppose..

I particularly like the ham and cheese extension - so post-modernist Hänsel und Gretel.